Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
