So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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