porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
