Life is so much better after having sex.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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