there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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