when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
