any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have fence marks all over my body
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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