Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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