Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
