dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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