We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I smell like Dick and happiness
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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