i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
do herpes really smell.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
