Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
