PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
