I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
