That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize