I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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