So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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