I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
