i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
