i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
