STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
