when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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