when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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