if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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