wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
