Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
