ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
