Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
