she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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