you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
