Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
