no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
