HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
where are my eyebrows?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
