Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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