I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
