I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
