You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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