i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
