i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
