I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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