How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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