while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
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The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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