brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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