CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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