There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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