if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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