we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
