My friends, they love my intelligence
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
