Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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