One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
