I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
