My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
