everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
