I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
