dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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