Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
