he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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