You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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