i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
