people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
