she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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