I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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