I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
